The collector from Mary

Introducing: Nigerian Government as Bààlè Oshogbò’ a.k.a Kàbiyesi

                   Citizenry as Mary

                   Miscreant/Palace Warden as Koleosho

Bààlè Oshogbò: (Heavily sweating calls out Koleosho)

Koleosho! Koleosho! Have you seen Mary’s new jalopy. She just passed by the palace.

Koleosho: Yes, Kàbiyesi, she is doing very well with her shop.

Bààlè Oshogbò: Indeed, has she paid all her dues?

Koleosho: Beni, Kàbiyesi.

Bààlè Oshogbò: Environmental dues (a sha fun won ni fresh air)?

Koleosho: Yes, Kabiyesi.

Bààlè Oshogbò: Light nko, palace dues, water, security?

Koleosho : Chuckles, Kàbiyesi ooooo, she has paid all. In fact Kàbiyesi, we collect the dues from her even though we don’t provide the services.

Bààlè Oshogbò: O kàre. There must be something else she should pay for. (Thinking…)

Koleosho: What do you have in mind, Kàbiyesi?

Baale Oshogbo: Still thinking…

Imagine the case of individuals whom the responsibility for the provision of their sustenance, welfare and security has been assigned to a Government. The Government, corrupt, inept and non-chalant best describes them. With little or no care from the Government, these individuals strive for a means of sustenance. They resort to the most unfathomable jobs just to survive. Some others amongst them work their fingers to the bone.

At the end of their strife is the irresponsible Government who inhibits these individuals at their place of strife through their goods-seizing, shops-demolishing, funds-collecting official miscreants. One would think what more mischief and oppression can this government cause those it is responsible to? What more trials and tribulations can these individuals be subjected to? Alas, like a thieving tax-collector, the collect all or almost all what these individuals have earned through various means; un-provided services, increased cost of living, expensive basic amenities etc.

These collections are at the very least are supposed to be used to improve citizenry sustenance, welfare and security. However that doesn't happen. Instead, it goes into government extravagancy, lootocracy and mismanagement. Thereafter, the whole cycle continues like the famous Deming cycle. This scenario is what I term 'à gbà lòwò mèèri' - 'the collector from mary.' A gbà lòwò mèèri' is a theme a bit similar to the proverbial Robin Hood. However, in this case the masses (mèèri – translated as the underprivileged in yoruba) are deprived of their earnings through various means.

'A gbà lòwò mèèri, Bààlè Oshogbò’ was one of the yoruba literatures I skimmed through as a child. The scenario described above actually typifies the nature of the ruler of Oshogbò; ‘Bààlè of Oshogbò’. I actually can’t recall the fate of the ‘Bààlè of Oshogbò’ at the end of the story (I didn’t complete the book because of its gbànkò gbi (strong vocabulary) yoruba). But, I am almost certain that it didn’t end well for the Bààlè nor his kinsmen. In actual fact, it couldn’t have ended well.

Wake up! We need not imagine again. Isn’t this an exact replica of the Nigerian Government – Citizenry state of affairs? At times, I ask myself, ‘In what way has this Government added value to our lives despite all the hard-knot problems we are made to go through as citizens everyday just to earn a living and contribute directly or indirectly to our economy?’ I can’t but pray that this Government wakes up to its responsibilities so that it ends well for them.

If you are reading this and/or you are amongst those privileged to have read the book, kindly share your knowledge on the fate of the Bààlè of Oshogbò’ so that our Government could learn.

Guest Blogger on Truth Hurts: @Ibn_AbdulRahman